Monday, May 13, 2013

What have I done to deserve this?

On bad days...really bad days, I often say to my husband, "What have I done to deserve this?"   Again let me stress...these are the worst days, the kind of days were Garrett and Gracie are fighting constantly, Brian needs soccer/football/basketball/dress clothes washed and I am ready to go to bed and all laundry that was in the laundry room has been caught up and Grady, well...he is Grady but at least he is consistent. On these days we are reminded that we are the "worst" parents ever, doors are slammed, questions are answered with more huffs and eye rolls than actual words and it never fails that we need to be five different places, someone can't find a shoe, we lose the keys or I have "accidentally" ran the car completely out of gas. It exhausts me just thinking about those days. 

Days like today, Mother's Day,  was perfect and once again left me asking the question "What have I done to deserve this?" My day started with a sunny walk around the neighborhood admiring the beautiful sun (it seems odd seeing the sun after all of the rain). Everything seemed renewed and fresh, much how I felt. It was beautiful and peaceful...good for the soul. Next we went to church...I love my children and husband sitting with me in church. I sit there looking at them and once again asked, "What have I done to deserve this?" I thought about God's love for me and asked, "What have I done to deserve this?"

We set out to make our Mother's Day rounds and started by taking Stevens' mother her flowers. The highlight of that visit was the conversation about the recent Cleveland women that were found. Sheila asked us if we knew what they should do to them and of course we all had our own ideas but hers...well shocked us all. "They should chain them to the wall by their balls". Gracie about choked, Brian and Garrett winced but laughed, Steven tried not to laugh but couldn't help it and I of course hysterically laughed. It wasn't until we were in the car that Grady spoke up and said, "It wouldn't be nice to chain someone up by their balls"...if only he understood the whole story. I apologize in advance to Grady's preschool teachers if this happens to come up in conversation.  This isn't something that you expect to hear from Sheila but she has a way of surprising you.

Next we visited my Grandmother, the sweetest Godliest woman I know. She is a saint and I credit so much of the woman and mother I am today to her. I love spending time with her and eating her no bake cookies. A funny story about my grandmother from years ago that probably left my grandmother asking, "What have I done to deserve this?", I was around 13 and my granny had made me angry, really angry. I can't remember why but if I had to guess I was probably asked to take a shower or to clean my room...harsh stuff I know. Anyway there was a huge mirror in the kitchen which I would spend hours gazing into, checking my hair, outfit or dancing in front of (yes Brian gets it honestly). We had argued about whatever she asked me to do and my temper got the best of me and I stormed down the hall and did the unthinkable (I'm embarrassed to admit this) and I flipped her the bird. The big mirror was not my friend that day...lesson learned. For the record I have begged for forgiveness, a lot. We still laugh about it today, sort of.

After that we came home to relax before a cookout with my sister. The kids surprised me with a video that Gracie made and it was beautiful. I cried like a baby. Garrett can't watch it without crying and my strong, tough boy even teared up. Gracie did a wonderful job making it and while watching it I again asked, "What have I done to deserve this?"
My mom was supposed to come over for a cookout to celebrate Mother's Day and the April birthday's but wasn't feeling well. I hope you are feeling better mom. My brother was going to come as well but after a trip to Shatley Springs and spending the entire week pouring me a concrete patio the boy was exhausted. I will be sharing pictures of my patio soon, it looks amazing. Thank you Benji. The kids had fun playing, we relaxed and ate lots of cake.

Next stop was Nana's. We walked up to the door, knocked and Gracie seen that she was asleep so we left her flower and card on the porch and let her rest.

Gracie and I made a delivery to my friend Kelly. Happy Birthday Kelly and I hope you love your ferns. For years Kelly celebrated Mother's Day as the fun aunt and it brings me so much happiness to see her being celebrated as a mom. She is an amazing mom, wife and friend.

Our day winded down with some outside play and Grady wanting to watch the sunset on my lap. In the end he decided it was taking too long while I thought it was going by too fast. This day will go down in history as one of the best days ever...and left me once again asking, "What have I done to deserve this?"

Thank you to my sweet, loving husband who always makes holiday's extra special. I love you. Thank you to Brian, Gracie, Garrett and Grady I love you all to the moon and back, it was truly a magical day and I am so thankful to be your mother.  Life isn't always easy but today was perfect. Thank you to all of these incredible women and the beauty they all bring to my life. I am blessed.


1 comment:

  1. Wow! What beautiful words and memories. You are so amazing in all that you do. I could not be more proud to call you my friend and the Godmother of my child. Your heart must have extra elastic, because you never cease to amaze me with all that you give and love. Yes, my dear friend. I love my ferns. I love you and I love that I have you to help, nurture and support me when I have both the good and bad "What have done to deserve this" moments. :)